you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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