come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
