I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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