I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He? As in you personified your dick?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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