I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
