She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
