I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize