Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize