I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
