My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
