you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
