theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
