Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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