Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
