Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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