Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
