I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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