I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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