I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
