Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
