I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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