when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
