Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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