he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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