He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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