ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize