we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
