Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
