ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
