Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
