i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
