just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize