Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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