Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
