She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
only if we run a train.
done.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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