pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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