You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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