windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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