If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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