But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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