"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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