k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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