she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
