I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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