Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
