Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
