Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I wear drunk well.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
