It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
