I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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