Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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