pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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