you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
