What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
