508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
