super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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