You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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