the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
