Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
