hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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