Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
