she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
