Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
