Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Im part way to drunk.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
