The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I understand Curling. That high.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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