I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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