her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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