Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
