I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
