By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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