I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
