To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
