so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
