i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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